


The King's Man

by lavinia_gray



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Divergent series, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-07-28 14:00:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7643335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavinia_gray/pseuds/lavinia_gray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin's new position as Arthur's manservant is turbulent to say the least, but when they share a drunken night of passion together they create a string of consequences that may change the course of history.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ever since I watched 1x2 I couldn't get this idea out of my head. Work in progress, but hopefully there will be more to come.

Merlin stared at Arthur from across the banquet hall with unfettered relief. He was barely a week into the Prince’s service before Arthur was almost killed by another admittedly crazy assassination attempt. Valiant’s magical shield was nothing short of unorthodox, and while Kilgharrah had said it was Merlin’s duty to protect Arthur from threats, magical or otherwise, he couldn’t help but feel a bit exasperated. Merlin knew that being Camelot’s Prince meant that assassination attempts were an unwanted part of the job, but he never thought crazed witches and homicidal knights would be commonplace in Camelot.

Of course, Merlin never thought he would ever be in Camelot. He had always thought as a child that he would live a simple and rather boring life with his mother in Ealdor. Despite the magical outbursts and animosity he received from the townsfolk for his unusual gifts, Merlin had always believed that Ealdor would be his home. He had known from a young age that he was different from the other boys, but as he got older and his magic more virulent, he had no choice but to leave.

And so Merlin fled the little village that he had called home for so long. He traveled West towards Camelot in search of a better life.

Even though this life seemed more dangerous than Ealdor could ever be, he felt like he had a purpose. His magic was meant to be used for something bigger than himself, bigger than even Arthur and his ginormous ego.

Merlin was still unsure of Arthur’s role in the prophecy; he was an arrogant git, but Merlin could see a small spark within him that beckoned, promising the great king Arthur could become.

“See? I told you he gets all the girls and the glory.” Merlin said in a rather I-told-you-so tone.

“And he owes it all to you.” Gaius replied in a lilted voice.

“Yeah, and what thanks do I get? I’ve been sacked for all my efforts.” Merlin said.

“Merlin, I know it may not seem like it now, but you’ve done Camelot a great service. Without you, Arthur would be dead.” Gaius said.

Merlin gave Gaius an unimpressed stare and turned back to the center of the dining hall where Arthur was escorting Morgana into the banquet.

The clapping dispersed and Arthur came to a stop in the middle of the hall. He turned to Morgana and they began speaking presumably of the day’s eventful tournament. Arthur’s face contorted into a sour expression at Morgana’s words and he relayed some sarcastic comment that Merlin was too far away to decipher. At his words, Morgana hissed an equally biting response and their conversation ended quite abruptly.

Arthur turned and saw Merlin leaning against one of the tables in the extravagantly decorated hall. He quickly approached, and Merlin, trying to look as though he was not just eavesdropping on their conversation, quickly turned his head to survey the hall.

“Can you believe Morgana?” Arthur said in a rather offended voice. “She says she saved me. Like I needed any help.”

He looked Merlin over and his expression softened.

“I wanted to say I made a mistake. It was unfair to sack you.” Arthur said.

Merlin turned to look at him and was stricken by the sincerity in his eyes. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips at Arthur’s words.

“Don’t worry about it. Buy me a drink. We’ll call it even.” Merlin said casually.

“I can’t really be seen to be buying drinks for my servant.” Arthur said sarcastically.

“Your servant?” Merlin drawled. “You sacked me.”

“And now I’m rehiring you.” Arthur replied curtly.

A smile graced Merlin’s lips and he let out a breathless laugh. Of course Arthur would find the most backhanded way to forgive him.

“My chambers are a complete mess.” Arthur emphatically stated. “My clothes need washing, my armour needs repairing, my boots need cleaning—” he trailed on.

The hopeful spark in Merlin’s chest quickly extinguished itself. Of course Arthur’s way of thanking him would be chores.

Merlin stared at him in disbelief. He tuned out Arthur’s endless prattle of ‘do this Merlin, do that Merlin’ until Arthur clapped him on the back and gave him a mirthful smile.

“And _someone_ needs to muck out my stables.” Arthur said pointedly and walked away.

Merlin watched on as Arthur made his way deeper into the hall and to his circle of knights. He was met with congratulations and roaring exclamations at his victory.

It was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

As the banquet wore on Merlin could see the courtiers and various attendees of the ball slowly become more and more inebriated. The knights in particular were known for their drinking and did not disappoint. From what Merlin could see, they were becoming rowdier as more ale was consumed. Most of the ladies of the court had retired and those of them who remained were just as drunk and bawdy as the men.

Merlin surveyed the room in the hopes of finding Arthur and was not surprised to see him laughing and pink cheeked among his knights. They were no doubt regaling one another with embellished stories of duels and quests.

An uneasiness rose in Merlin. Arthur seemed truly plastered even after Merlin had been secretly watering down his wine. Merlin set the serving pitcher he was holding down on a nearby table and began to approach the semi-circle of knights.

“And then she said, she’d never seen a cock that small!” one of the older knights bellowed. He was met with uproarious laughter and Merlin seized his opportunity.

“Sire, I think it’s time for you to retire.” Merlin said to Arthur in a gentle tone.

“Ah, Merlin come to save me from the vices of drink I see.” Arthur slurred.

Merlin grabbed Arthur's upper arm and led him from his seat at the table. Arthur wobbled precariously before steadying himself by placing an arm around Merlin’s shoulders.

“Sorry to say lads, but I must retire.” Arthur said before promptly losing his balance once more and gripping Merlin’s bicep.

“Oi, that’s a pretty thing you’ve got your arms wrapped around sire.” A younger knight said. The alcohol seemed to have loosened his tongue.

Merlin blushed to the tips of his ears and attempted to walk Arthur from the circle, not wanting to deal with the confrontation.

“Come along sire, I don’t think—,”

Arthur’s eyes had taken on a dangerous glint. His jaw clenched and his voice sounded low and serious. “If you ever speak of my manservant like that again, I’ll have you flogged. Do you understand?”

“My lord.” The knight nodded, chastised.

Arthur walked away from the group of knights and out into the corridor. Stumbling without Merlin’s arm around him any longer, Arthur supported himself against one of the walls. Merlin hastily grabbed his arm and began leading him once more. A pregnant silence ensued and neither said anything on their walk to Arthur’s chambers. Stumbling under his weight, Merlin managed to unlock the door and lead Arthur inside.

Merlin released Arthur’s arm and led him to one of the chairs near the fireplace. Arthur sat down quite gracelessly and looked up at Merlin with glassy eyes.

“You know, Merlin, there is something about you. I just can’t put my finger on it.” He said.

Merlin looked at Arthur closely. His hair shone in the firelight almost like a halo around his head. He looked so fragile, so different from the Prince and the champion he was to the people of Camelot. The circlet that rested on his brow contested to this information, and made him look untouchable, a god in a man’s body.

“Come here, let me look at you.” Arthur gestured for Merlin to come closer.

Merlin seemingly entranced by Arthur’s call, walked closer until he was standing above Arthur, looking down at him. The shadow that Merlin cast blocked the light from hitting Arthur’s face and despite the change, his eyes still shone with an intensity.

Carefully, Merlin reached down and removed Arthur’s circlet. But before he could place it on a nearby table, Merlin felt a warm hand wrap around his wrist. Arthur’s fingers held him gently and pulled his hand to his mouth. Merlin could feel hot puffs of air as his hand grazed Arthur’s lips. He suddenly realized how wrong the situation was. Arthur was drunk, he shouldn’t be taking advantage of him like this. It was his duty as Arthur’s manservant to protect him, despite his own feelings.

Merlin pulled his arm away. “Sire, you should get some rest, it has been a trying day.”

Arthur did not respond. Instead, he rose from his chair and stood toe to toe with Merlin.

They were equally matched in height, and from the new angle Merlin could see deeply into his eyes.

Before Merlin could protest again, he felt Arthur’s warm lips against his own. Surprised at the sudden turn of events, he tried to pull away, but felt Arthur’s hand on his neck, guiding him back.

Merlin was just a man, and who was he to deny himself this? Arthur was clearly demonstrating his desire for Merlin and if Merlin felt the same way where was the harm?

He pressed his lips closer to Arthur’s and opened his mouth. Merlin moaned at the sensation. He felt Arthur’s tongue graze his lips, asking for entry. Merlin obliged and could feel his knees weaken at the intensity of the kiss.

Arthur spun them around and walked Merlin backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed post. Merlin fell backwards and looked up at Arthur. His eyes were full of lust, and he looked at Merlin as if he was a hungry man and a feast had been placed before him. Merlin quickly toed off his shoes and Arthur did the same. Merlin backpedaled so that he was in the center if the bed and Arthur climbed on top of him. With his knees on either side of Merlin’s hips, he reached down and removed his tunic, baring his chest to Merlin.

As Arthur’s manservant, Merlin knew he would soon become familiar with the sight of Arthur’s body, but he had never seen it so brazenly displayed before him. He could feel his heart beating heavily in his chest, the anticipation making him more nervous than he initially thought.

He’d never done this before, with a man or a woman, and he suddenly felt extremely inadequate. In order to pacify his nerves, he pulled Arthur down on top of him so that he could bury his face in his neck. Arthur responded by mouthing at Merlin’s jaw and removing Merlin’s tunic as well.

Arthur continued his assault on Merlin’s neck and began to slowly move lower until he reached the ties of Merlin’s breeches. He looked up at Merlin through hooded eyes, silently asking for permission. Merlin nodded gently and Arthur untied the laces. He lifted his hips so that Arthur could slide off his breeches. Suddenly feeling vulnerable, Merlin tugged at Arthur’s laces too. His hands were shaking with apprehension, making the task take embarrassingly long.

Arthur let out a chuckle and reached down to help. He kicked his breeches to the floor and his erection sprang free. Merlin felt his heart jump into his throat yet again at the sight of Arthur’s cock. He took a deep breath and gave Arthur a tentative smile, trying to conjure up the nerve to continue. Luckily he didn’t have to because he soon felt Arthur’s hand on the center of his chest as he was pressed back into the mattress.

Arthur looked down at Merlin once more, his eyes glinting mysteriously in the candlelight, before he kissed Merlin passionately.

His hands roamed over Merlin’s chest before sliding down to his hips and between his thighs. Merlin gasped as he felt Arthur press a finger against his hole. Arthur brought his finger to Merlin’s lips and Merlin sucked on it noisily while maintaining eye contact with Arthur. Arthur’s breath hitched in his throat.

Merlin felt Arthur grab his thighs and spread them wide before placing his fingers against Merlin once again. He moaned at the contact and pressed his hips down, begging for more. Arthur slowly pressed a finger inside, eliciting a sharp inhale from Merlin.

Arthur looked up immediately, silently inquiring if he had done something wrong. Merlin stared back in silence to let him know that it was alright, that he could keep going. With one hand braced on Merlin’s thigh, he worked the digit into him. Slowly he added a second finger, and then a third. By the time Arthur’s hand was beginning to feel cramped, Merlin was a moaning mess.

Content with his work, Arthur removed his fingers and lined up his cock, prodding at Merlin’s entrance. Merlin thrust against Arthur, begging for more. Arthur pressed into his wet heat in one deep thrust, groaning in pleasure. He gripped Merlin’s hip hard enough to leave a bruise and thrust again, deeper this time.

Arthur leaned down to nuzzle his face into Merlin’s neck. Merlin could feel his muscles burn as Arthur slowly fucked into him. Their bodies soon became slick with sweat and Arthur tilted his head to meet Merlin for a searing kiss.

Merlin felt Arthur hit something inside him and his breath hitched. Arthur’s hips continued to pound into him and it only took a few more thrusts before Merlin could feel his toes curling in pleasure. He let out a loud moan at the intrusion, which only fuelled Arthur’s vigorous movements even more. Merlin quickly felt Arthur tense and groan above him, flooding him with warmth. Merlin felt the heat that had pooled in his abdomen burn into a fire, consuming him completely. His ears rang and he could feel the blood pumping through his body as waves of pleasure crashed through him.

Arthur went limp and displaced his weight above Merlin, trying not to crush him. Still pressed inside him, he turned Merlin on his side and draped his arm over his stomach. Before Merlin could find the courage to say anything about what they had just done, he felt Arthur’s muscles relax and his breathing even on his neck. Merlin attributed his lethargy to the alcohol and resolved to never let Arthur drink this much again, no matter how much the prat pestered him.

  
Sighing deeply, Merlin closed his eyes and pressed his back closer to Arthur’s chest. His muscles felt delightfully lax as he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

  

The sunlight hit Merlin’s face in the most inconvenient way possible. I mean really, who was ever up this early? It took him a moment to realize that the angle the light was hitting him at was wrong, and the red drapes he could see out of the corner of his eye were definitely not a part of his room.

His eyes opened comically wide and he jerked his head up so fast he almost threw Arthur’s arm off his stomach in the process. It was then that Merlin finally remembered what had transpired between them last night.

 _Oh gods._   

Merlin pressed the heel of his palm to his eye in an effort to mitigate the oncoming headache. He silently recounted the events, or what he could remember of them, and came haltingly to the realization that he might have just lost the job that Arthur had so graciously given back to him. Of course, that wasn’t the only thing Arthur had graciously given him last night— No. Merlin resolutely shook his head to dispel the thought.

Merlin slowly turned to look at Arthur, thankfully still asleep even after Merlin’s mild panic attack. His face was slack with sleep, making him look completely at peace, completely unguarded. His mouth was open, emitting small snores that under different circumstances Merlin would be hard pressed not to make fun of. Arthur’s arm was still draped around Merlin’s waist and Merlin looked at it disbelievingly.

During the two weeks Merlin had spent as Arthur’s manservant he was torn between hating Arthur’s guts for being an arrogant ponce and pining over his golden hair and broad shoulders. Despite oscillation between the two extremes, he often found himself reaching down to touch himself more often than not late at night, picturing Arthur’s strong hand wrapping around him instead of his own.

To see Arthur actually asleep next to him is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. To finally know what it feels like to have Arthur inside him, around him, breathing in the crook of his neck as he pounds into him, is something that Merlin only thought he would experience in his wildest dreams. But those late night wank sessions never accounted for the aftermath that he would inevitably have to deal with.

He knew that Arthur would either wake up horrified or just as exhilarated as Merlin, and he could only hope it was the latter.

Merlin hadn’t told Arthur that this was his first time, but he was pretty sure he didn’t have to what with all the fumbling and blushing. He wondered if that would mean anything to Arthur. For him it may have been a drunken mistake made because of too much ale and a willing partner, but for Merlin it was the first time he had ever felt so loved in his entire life. And to top it all off, it was with the man he seemed to share an insurmountable destiny with.

Merlin could feel the headache forming behind his eyes from the tangle of thoughts coursing through his brain. He ran a hand through his hair and looked down at Arthur again and sighed. He thought he was going to have another heart attack when Arthur shifted his arm down Merlin’s stomach and slowly opened his eyes.  

As Arthur visibly adjusted to the light, his eyes focused on Merlin and he looked puzzled for a moment before he inevitably remembered what had happened last night. He quickly removed his arm from Merlin’s torso and sat up on the far side of the bed.

“Merlin,” Arthur said with a curt nod. He looked slightly uncomfortable.

“Arthur I—,”

“Whatever you’re about to say, I don’t want to hear it,” he held up a hand to silence Merlin. “I was drunk off my arse last night, and you were too so don’t make this any more awkward than it needs to be.” He finished.

Merlin spluttered. “I was not drunk Arthur! You were plastered at the banquet and when you came back to your chambers you seemed more lucid than I think you would care to admit.”

Arthur’s detached voice took on an angry undertone. “ _I was drunk_ ,” he said emphatically. “And so were you. This was a mistake, and if you dare say otherwise I’ll have you flogged.”

So much for Arthur waking up contentedly and wrapping Merlin in his comforting embrace. Merlin internally scoffed. Last night hadn’t changed anything between them. Those soft eyes that Arthur had looked at him with, almost lovingly, meant nothing now. They were a daydream somewhere far away from the cold stare Arthur was giving him

Arthur threw the covers off of his legs and quickly stepped into his breeches before sliding on his boots.

“That’s not true Arthur, and you know it.” Merlin said scathingly. If Arthur thought he could just deny what happened he was sorely mistaken.

“All I know is that I wasn’t in my right mind last night. The fact that anything even happened between us is ridiculous; I wouldn’t be caught dead bedding my manservant.” Arthur snarled.

Merlin felt like all the air had been pulled from his lungs. He knew somewhere deep in his heart that the feelings he harboured for Arthur would never amount to anything more than a few wistful looks at him during meetings at court or accidental grazes when he was helping him into his armour, but hearing Arthur say it out loud was validating the fears he had tried to deny.

Merlin felt horrible, degraded, humiliated at Arthur’s words. To hear the man he was supposed to dedicate his life and magic to speak of him like he was a thing to be used and discarded made thoughts of insecurity rush into his mind. This man was supposed to unite the land of Albion, create the golden age, bring back magic. How was Merlin supposed to believe any of that if he wasn’t even able to look Merlin in the eye after what he had said?

Merlin visibly swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. “Just because you’re too dense to admit to yourself what we did last night doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” Merlin said in a surprisingly steady voice. “If you want to lie to yourself, fine, do it, I don’t care, but get off of your fucking high horse and look me in the eye!” Merlin was standing by this point, his eyes wild and angry at Arthur’s pigheadedness.

Arthur placed his hands flat against the door before spinning around violently and stalking towards Merlin at an alarming pace. He raised a finger and pointed at Merlin menacingly. “How dare you speak to me in this way? I’m the prince of Camelot and I can very well do as I please,” Arthur growled. “If I tell you to shut your mouth you do so, and if I tell you I was drunk, I was drunk.”

Merlin stood to his full height in defiance of Arthur’s words. They were almost nose to nose now, and Merlin could see Arthur’s jaw clench.

“I’m sorry, sire,” Merlin spat. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought that since you had your _cock in my arse_ last night, my opinion would mean something to you!”

Arthur raised his hand and quickly struck Merlin across the face. Merlin cupped his hand to his cheek to lessen the sting, but couldn’t help the tears threatening to spill. Arthur had roughhoused him before, but never like this. He never meant to truly hurt Merlin, and now, feeling the full force of Arthur’s wrath Merlin couldn’t help but feel betrayed.

Merlin flicked his eyes up to Arthur’s face and he was met with a steely gaze. “Do not disobey me again, or you’ll find yourself wishing you hadn’t.” Arthur said in a dangerous voice. He quickly found his shirt at the foot of the bed and put it on before exiting his chambers.

Merlin stood there, dumbfounded at Arthur’s brashness. He knew there was a chance that Arthur would react badly, but he never thought that Arthur would actually strike him. The banquet last night gave Merlin hope that Arthur could grow into the king he was meant to be, but this felt like a giant step backwards.

Merlin sank back into the bed and finally let himself cry.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up! Sorry for the wait, got a bit busy with school and the holidays. Chapter 3 is in the works though. :)

Merlin felt empty. There was a hollow void in his chest, an ache that seemed to resonate within his entire being. His cheek still stung from the slap Arthur had given him, but the pain was nothing compared to what he felt.

When the Great Dragon had told Merlin of his destiny, he gave Merlin a purpose, a reason for his magic. No matter how terrible his current situation seemed to be, there was a glimmer of hope that maybe someday things would be better. At times Merlin was even afraid of reaching the pinnacle of this prophecy, reaching Albion, because it meant that there was nothing left of the dream that had sustained him for so long. But even worse than that was seeing this dream crumble into nothingness before him.

Merlin hiccuped, tears blurring his eyes until Arthur’s chambers around him looked nothing more than swaths of red and gold. It’s funny, Merlin thought, that the colors of Camelot would be so closely tied to magic, a deep blood red and a shimmering gold intertwined to create the feared crest. Another sob wracked through his chest, and Merlin wrapped his arms tighter around his middle. He knew he couldn’t stay very long in Arthur’s chambers, there was a risk that Arthur would come back and find him like this, a sobbing wreck. And honestly, Merlin had no idea what he would even say to Arthur when he saw him again. If he saw him again.

Slowly, he pulled his arms away from his middle and stood up. As soon as his feet hit the floor, Merlin wobbled, his legs too weak to hold him. He steadied himself against the bedpost to gain his balance before searching the room for his clothes. He saw his tunic flung near Arthur’s desk in yesterday’s haste and felt another wave of sadness crash through him. It seemed that all the anger and spite he had spit at Arthur earlier had burned itself up in a fiery haze, leaving nothing but ashes in it’s wake.

Merlin quickly found the rest of his clothes and dressed himself before he could dwell on the happenings of last night. He opened the door and threw the room a cursory glance before exiting.

 

* * *

 

“Merlin, my boy, where have you been?” Merlin was greeted with Gaius’ questioning stare.

“I decided to sleep in the antechamber in Arthur’s room last night; he was well knackered after the banquet.” It was a bit unnerving how easy it was for Merlin to lie so naturally.

Gaius stared at him for a long moment, his face impassive, not quite believing Merlin’s story but being torn having no reason not to.

“Yes, well, give an old man some warning next time Merlin, I was worried something had happened to you.”

 _Something did happen to me._ Merlin wanted to say.

“Sorry Gaius, it’s just you know how Arthur can be once he has had a few drinks. And after the whole Valiant thing, I just didn’t want to leave him alone.” That wasn’t a complete lie. Merlin still felt a bit on edge and didn’t know what to expect anymore. Just because he and Arthur had a row didn’t mean that the danger and assassination attempts would stop. If anything, it would be harder to protect Arthur now with all the tension between them.

Merlin walked past Gaius, hoping to avoid any more questions he didn’t want to answer.

Merlin quickly opened the door to his room, slumping against it once it was closed. He took in a shaky breath, silently thanking the fact that Gaius hadn’t immediately figured out that something was amiss. Since Merlin didn’t actually have to assist Arthur until training later, he had the rest of the morning to gather his thoughts.

He removed his tunic and breeches and grabbed the wet cloth he usually used in the morning to clean himself. Finally seeing himself fully naked after what happened last night made everything seem so real. It was as if he had begun to believe the lie he told Gaius, that everything was still okay between him and Arthur even though it obviously wasn’t.

After raking the cloth down his body, Merlin came to notice the finger-shaped bruises along his hipbones. He took a shuddering breath and gingerly wiped across his hips before moving down the rest of his body in haste, not wanting to see the evidence of what he and Arthur had done.  

But now that the initial anger and fear had worn off, he could feel every bruise, every lovebite, every scratch along his body. He could definitely feel the soreness between his legs that his body hadn't registered before. It was a painful reminder of  the fact that this was the first time he had given himself to anyone.

Not wanting to dwell on the situation, Merlin quickly finished washing and changed his clothing. A fresh tunic and breeches made him feel better, cleaner, but the broiling emotions inside felt like a blemish he couldn’t wipe away.

 

* * *

 

It took weeks, but everything eventually fell back into it’s normal rhythm. Granted, those few weeks were hell for both Merlin and Arthur.

After the whole debacle that ensued the morning after the banquet, Merlin really wasn't sure whether or not he still had a job. He didn’t know what to think at all in terms of his and Arthur’s relationship.

Arthur was cold and distant, hardly ever speaking to Merlin unless strictly necessary. His voice was always flat when he regarded his manservant, relaying no hint of emotion whatsoever. He refused to even let Merlin dress him anymore, dismissing him whenever possible. At first, Merlin believed this tentative ground they were on would eventually lead onto the path of recovery, but after weeks of this he wasn’t so sure.

Arthur treated Merlin as if he didn’t exist at all. The incident with Valiant helped their budding friendship along, and Merlin knew that it was a delicate process, gaining the Prince’s trust, but now it seemed impossible to get Arthur to even look at him. After so much of this, Merlin would’ve been grateful for even the slightest glimmer of any emotion whatsoever. He had even taken to deliberately spilling wine and “forgetting” to polish Arthur's sword to elicit a reaction.

Merlin’s doubt about his and Arthur’s relationship began morphing into doubts about their destiny. He had barely been in Arthur’s service for a week before he went and bollocksed everything up. His stupid delusions about what he and Arthur could’ve become led him to ruin any chances they had at a future together.

The glimpses Merlin saw of Arthur’s valiant and honorable nature retreated back under the arrogant facade he had so carefully created. The spark of hope Merlin had was slowly dwindling, leaving despair in it’s wake. What was he going to do? Arthur was drawing farther away from him than ever. He was meant to make him into the king of legends, and if Merlin couldn’t even get Arthur to glance at him, was there any hope?

Merlin hadn’t even told Gaius of what truly happened the night of the feast, too ashamed of his actions. He had no one to turn to; he was lost and quickly losing faith in his place here in Camelot. Merlin knew who he could ask for help, he just didn’t want to face what he might be told in return for his actions. The Great Dragon could know what to do, he knew more about Merlin and Arthur’s destiny than Merlin felt strictly comfortable with, but Merlin was afraid of what he might say. What if everything is ruined? All because of some stupid mistake?

Merlin knew the only way out of the situation was to talk to Kilgharrah, no matter how much he dreaded it. Wallowing in pity and thinking himself in circles wasn’t going to solve anything. Something had to change, and it was up to Merlin to find out how.

 

* * *

 

“Kilgharrah!” Merlin bellowed into the chamber. “I need your help!”

He heard the flapping of wings and the jangling of a chain as the dragon perched himself on the rocky ledge.

“It would seem you do young warlock.” The dragon cocked his head. “You and the young Pendragon have bonded, though this has happened much earlier than expected,” He placed his questioning stare on Merlin. “Although, I do not see the problem, you and Arthur are the halves that make the whole, why are you troubled?”

“Arthur won’t even speak to me, he barely even looks at me, he treats me like I’m not even there.” Merlin complained. “It’s my duty to protect him and to help him; how can I do that if he won’t even properly acknowledge me?”

“I’ve told you before Merlin, a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole. Arthur is your destiny.”

Merlin was beginning to feel like a child, begging for answers and only getting riddles in return. “Please, all I’m asking for is some advice, something to help me _talk_ to my destiny.”

The dragon chuckled. “Merlin, Pendragons are wily beings. Their hearts even more so. I believe if anyone knows that by now, it is you.”

Merlin’s desperation was beginning to show. “I just want him to speak to me again; I feel like I’ve ruined everything.” His voice cracked. “I just wanted to know what it was like to be with him, and I thought it would be okay, he was so loving and I was so caught up in my emotions after he believed me about Valiant.” Merlin sniffled. “I just want to know I haven’t messed everything up.”

“Do not fret, a quarrel as small as this cannot break the bond you and Arthur share. I can see the multiple paths the future may take, and it goes without saying that we are now travelling a different path than before.” Kilgharrah said.

Merlin’s eyes widened in alarm. A different path? What did that mean? “Wait. What do you mean a different path? Everything’s still going to work out though right? Me and Arthur and what we’re supposed to do?”

“I believe it is still in reach for you to do so. Nevertheless, the future is a fickle thing and all that I see may not come to pass. Though you must be wary Merlin, the path ahead is still wrought with dangers.” Kilgharrah bowed his head and spread his wings to take his leave.

“Hang on!” Merlin shouted. “I still don’t know what to do about Arthur!”

Kilgharrah chuckled, the sound resonated against the rocks and quickly filled the cavern. “You were made for the young Pendragon; your hearts are more in tune than you believe.” With that, he flew deeper into the caves, leaving Merlin alone once again.

 

* * *

 

Merlin awoke to the feeling of his stomach roiling against him, pushing up his dinner from the previous night. He quickly scrambled over the side of the bed and blindly reached for his chamber pot before retching violently.

The commotion must have woken Gaius as he opened the door to find Merlin heaving. “Merlin are you alright?” He asked tentatively.

Merlin spit into the chamber pot and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I don’t know, I just woke up and didn’t feel well.” He said with a raspy voice.

“I think you should stay in bed today, I’ll inform the Prince that you will not be able to attend him.” Gaius made to leave.

Merlin pushed himself out of bed. “No Gaius, I feel fine, it’s probably just something I ate last night; don’t worry about it.”

Gaius felt Merlin’s temperature with the back of his hand before quickly looking the boy over. “Well, you don’t have a fever,” he sighed. “I suppose you may go attend the Prince, but do be careful Merlin,” he gave Merlin a weary glance.

Merlin gave him a wide grin. “I always am Gaius.”

Merlin felt fine for the rest of the day and was shocked when the same the thing happened the next morning. He brushed it off once more and when the sickness continued, it didn’t take long for him to realize that something was off.

Gaius forbade him from serving the Prince and told him as much, relaying Merlin’s condition.

“Sire, I believe Merlin has come down with an illness and will not be able to attend to you as he is on bedrest as of now.”

Arthur whirled from his position at the window was met with Gaius’ solemn demeanor. “He’s sick? He hasn’t told me as much. He’s seemed fine for the past few days.”

“Well my lord, it has come to my attention that you and Merlin have not been on the best of terms lately. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had kept this from you.” Gaius stared at Arthur meaningfully, obviously trying to get him to talk about the strain on his and Merlin’s relationship.

The words stung more than Arthur thought they would. It was true their relationship had crumbled the day after the feast, and Arthur wasn’t so dense that he couldn’t see that himself. He knew he acted horribly and wanted to rectify the situation, but the fact remained that nothing could ever happen between them. If Arthur was completely honest with himself, he knew why he acted the way he did, he wanted a way out, an excuse to dismiss their behavior. Thinking about Merlin under his hands, moaning and crying out his name only poured salt in the wound, reminding Arthur of everything he could never have. It was easier to distance Merlin, to push him away with harsh words than to break open his own heart by giving it to someone he knew it could never belong to.

It hurt even more to see the pain on Merlin’s face when he had slapped him that morning. It was nothing but a brief manifestation of his anger, Arthur could see that now, and felt like Arthur had betrayed Merlin in such a visceral way. It was ironic almost, the reverent touches and kisses he left on Merlin’s body the night before all washed away with the flick of his wrist.

He could still remember every curve of Merlin’s body, every arch, every angle, every inch of beautifully pale skin. He knew deep in his heart he wasn’t anywhere near drunk that night. Truth be told, the moment he held Merlin in his arms, his lips soft and pliant against him, all the haziness from the alcohol left him. It was like waking up from a dream.

Arthur met Gaius’ gaze. “Yes we haven’t spoken much these past few days.” He spoke reservedly.

Arthur felt like a child again, Gaius slowly drawing his problems out of him, trying to get him to open up, something that still felt so alien to him.

“From what I understand, conversation flows both ways, sire. If you do not return the effort being made, nothing can be done.” Gaius said.

Arthur deigned to respond with silence.

Gaius sighed. “I’m afraid I will be delivering medicines for the rest of the morning sire.” He paused. “Merlin will be forced to entertain himself with his thoughts. Although I’m sure he would enjoy a visitor.” He looked at Arthur pointedly.

Arthur coughed. “Yes well, I’ll see what I can do.”

Gaius nodded before turning and exiting the room.

Arthur stood by the window, mulling over his thoughts. Gaius was right. He had to make an effort. If he and Merlin continued on the path they were on, there really was no chance of anything developing between them, friendship or otherwise.

Gathering his resolve before he lost it, Arthur pulled on his jerkin from the table and left his chambers intent on reconciling with his manservant.

 

* * *

 

Merlin woke to a knock at his door.

Gaius had already left this morning, why would he come back so early? Merlin thought.

“Come in.” He said, curious as to who was at his door.

Arthur stepped forward and closed the door behind him. He rubbed the back of his neck and spoke cautiously. “So Gaius tells me you’re sick?”

Merlin started tentatively. “Um, yeah must've come down with something.” He paused, unsure of himself. “I should be better soon though.”  

“That's good.” Arthur shuffled his feet, looking out of place in Merlin's room. “I wanted to uh, come and apologize for how acted after the feast.” He took a deep breath. “How I behaved wasn’t honourable, and I’m sorry.”

Merlin was shocked. No, he was _dumbfounded._ Arthur was _apologising?_ Never in his wildest dreams would Merlin have predicted this. He had been chewing on what Kilgharrah had told him for a couple of days, trying to figure out a way to approach Arthur and make amends, but now that Arthur had come to _him_ , Merlin couldn’t help the little furl of happiness flowering inside his chest.

“ _You’re sorry_?” Merlin couldn’t help the incredulity in his voice.

Arthur sighed. “I know it was wrong of me, treating you the way I did. There’s no excuse for how I behaved. I was angry at myself and scared too I guess.” He looked Merlin dead in the eye. “I’m not used to being so open with someone else, it’s the duty of a prince to put responsibility before emotion, I’ve always known that, and you made me feel like it didn’t have to be that way anymore,” Arthur’s voice softened. “When we fought that morning, I knew I was lying to you and I was lying to myself, but it felt better to push you away and make you hate me than to tell you that I felt something that night.”

Merlin didn’t know what to say. He’d dreamed that Arthur returned his sentiments, had played this moment over so many times in his head, analysing every possible reaction Arthur could give him, but he still felt his mouth go dry. To hear Arthur say something so candid and vulnerable to him made him feel a bit wrongfooted. Merlin was so used to Arthur’s guarded demeanor that he so often displayed that hearing a genuine sentiment felt strange. Even during the night of the banquet Arthur had hardly spoken, opting to press gentle kisses into Merlin’s skin in the hopes to convey what he felt words would fail to say.

But looking at Arthur now, Merlin could clearly see a tenderness in his eyes. This was the Arthur that Merlin rarely ever saw. Yes it was customary of a prince to be wary of his relationships with others, and Merlin knew that; he could see the constant wall in Arthur’s eyes, carefully built so as to keep everyone out. It had never occurred to Merlin that it was meant to keep Arthur in.

Arthur’s duty to Camelot would always be priority in his mind, so much so that he had to restrain himself from even the simplest of things. Arthur had said it himself, he felt something that night, and it made Merlin’s toes curl in delight to think of it, but he knew it was a dangerous thing. Princes were trained to cast away their desires in order to create the hollow mold they would need to fill to become king. Arthur knew that, and he was preparing for it. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with Merlin, he just knew that it couldn’t happen.

“I felt something too. It felt good to give myself to you.” Merlin blushed. “I know now why you did what you did and I forgive you. It’s not easy denying yourself what you truly want. Your duty is to Camelot, and I respect that, but I think it’s worth saying that an isolated king is not necessarily a good one. Love someone doesn’t make you weak Arthur, it gives you strength.” Merlin’s eyes shone with intensity.

Arthur looked at him with a sad expression. “I understand what you’re trying to say, Merlin, but nothing can ever happen between us, you must know that.” He sounded defeated.

Merlin suddenly felt bold. “And who’s to say that?”

“My father would never allow such a thing to happen between us.” Arthur looked as if he had thought this through many times before only to arrive at the same conclusion over and over again.

“When you’re king you can change that Arthur,” Merlin said passionately. “You can rule the kingdom in your own way.”

“I can hardly expect you to wait for me.” Arthur looked pained at the thought of putting Merlin through such an ordeal.

“That’s for me to decide isn’t it?”

“I can hardly ask that of you, Merlin.”

Merlin threw the covers off his legs and stood up gingerly. He walked over to Arthur and took his hand. “You are a good man Arthur Pendragon. It would be my honour to wait for you.”

Arthur gave him a watery smile before pulling him into a tender embrace. Merlin could feel Arthur’s breath on the back of his neck as he pulled him closer.

Hope began to bloom in Merlin's chest and for the first time in weeks, he felt like he had found a home in Camelot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have recognized some of Arthur and Merlin's dialogue from 2x04. I felt like it would be a good addition to the story so I added it in. :)


	3. Chapter 3

As the weeks progressed and Merlin’s sickness didn’t dissipate, Gaius got increasingly worried. He kept Merlin on bedrest for another week before deciding to investigate the cause of the morning sickness.

As Merlin lay on the cot in Gaius’ chamber he couldn't help the smile that graced his lips.

Despite the nausea that plagued him every morning, he was the happiest he’d been since he came into Arthur’s service. His and Arthur’s relationship had finally developed into something more than just a tentative friendship. Never could Merlin have predicted that he would confess his feelings for Arthur, and never could he have predicted that Arthur would actually return them. Just knowing that one day he and Arthur could explore the depths of their newfound tryst made Merlin’s eyes light up. He was beginning to see the threads of their destiny woven into his and Arthur’s relationship, Merlin’s ardent loyalty and Arthur’s inherent courage coming together to create the perfect storm for Albion’s birth. Although it was still early in their relationship, Merlin couldn’t help but see the path to greatness unfolding before them. Still, he told himself, they were quite early on in their journey, the path that lie ahead was long and no doubt arduous.

Merlin’s days were filled with knowing smiles and twinkling eyes between him and Arthur, not quite bringing their relationship to light; their dalliances hinting at the passion that lay beneath the surface. They had decided to remain friends until they could court each other openly, keeping their romance to only private encounters. It was for the best, allowing them the freedom to explore each other without any real repercussions as of yet.

Merlin still had not told Gaius of the nature of his and Arthur’s relationship, a bit afraid of what the old man might say. It was obvious that the turmoil he and Arthur had experienced earlier was over, a blind man could see that, but it was not common knowledge how deep their relationship ran. Though Merlin suspected it was not long before Gaius puzzled out what was going on.

But first, he needed to puzzle out what was wrong with Merlin.

Gaius lifted up Merlin’s shirt exposing his stomach and prodded along his hips. “How does that feel?” He pressed a bit harder.

“Fine, I guess.” Merlin responded, nonplussed by Gaius’ actions.

Gaius stepped back and motioned to Merlin that he could pull his shirt back down. “Well, I have an idea of what may be wrong with you, gods be willing that I’m wrong.” He sounded a little unnerved.

“What? Why?” Merlin was alarmed at Gaius’ tone. “Is it something bad?” His voice raised in apprehension. “Am I going to die?”

“No, Merlin, you're not going to die. Just be patient with me, I need to go gather some supplies.” Gaius walked over to the table in the center of the room and mixed a vial of clear liquid before walking back over to Merlin.

“Take this.” He handed Merlin an empty vial and told him to urinate in it behind the screen.

Once Merlin had finished and handed Gaius the vial, he poured it into the clear liquid and swirled the two together. Slowly, the color began to change until it took on a deep blue color.

Merlin watched anxiously as the pale yellow darkened, curious as to what the change meant.

“Gaius?” He asked in a concerned voice.

Gaius seemed shaken at the results of the test, not quite believing what he had seen. “It seems congratulations are in order.”

“What? Why?” Merlin was really confused now. “What’s going on?”

“You’re with child.”

“I’m what?!” Merlin said, incredulous.

“I’m shocked as you are, considering your gender and your circumstances.” He looked pointedly at Merlin as if to say, _I know for a fact you’re a virgin._

Merlin ran a hand through his hair. “How could this have happened?”

 _“_ I think you know how, Merlin.” Gaius replied.

“No, I know _how,_ I just mean I'm not a girl,” he gestured at himself, “how could I get pregnant?”

“I believe it has to do with your magic,” he said.

“What do you mean?” Merlin questioned.  

“You’re a very powerful sorcerer Merlin. More than I think you may believe. Your magic is part of your being; it’s part of your essence. It follows your command, whether you consciously will it to or not.” Gaius paused. “Whoever the father of this child is has a very powerful connection to you. Whenever you and him,” Gaius coughed uncomfortably and gestured in the air, “had relations, there was such an intense connection that your body and magic created a fertile environment for a child to form.”

Merlin felt his cheeks heat as he remembered Arthur rutting above him, his breath brushing Merlin’s lips as he moaned in pleasure.

Gaius studied the boy before speaking again, more cautious this time. “Am I correct in assuming that the father of this child is the Prince?”

Merlin looked at Gaius meaningfully, not quite trusting himself to tell the truth. Of course it was Arthur, it would only ever be Arthur.

Gaius sighed. “Oh, my boy. Does this have anything to do with the row you two had these past few weeks?”

Merlin ran his hands over his face, overcome with emotion. “After the banquet that was held in Arthur’s honor we—” he stopped, hoping that the insinuation would be enough, not wanting to say what had happened, “I knew the consequences of what we had done were going to be harsh, but we worked things out. After I got sick Arthur came and talked to me and we made amends, everything was okay.” Merlin could feel his voice weakening. “But now, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Arthur can’t have a bastard, least of all one born of magic,” desperation began to seep into his voice, “what am I going to do?” Merlin could feel tears stinging his eyes.

Gaius stepped forward and took the boy into his arms. “This is just the beginning of yours and Arthur’s journey together. Do not be so quick to believe that it is already over. We will find a way to sort this out.” Gaius stroked Merlin’s hair, comforting him.

“It’s my destiny to protect him, Gaius. How am I supposed to do that if I’m going to have a child?” Merlin was distraught. “Arthur can't ever know, I don't know what he'd do if I told him. And where would I go? I can't stay in Camelot and neither can the baby, it would raise too many questions.” Merlin could feel panic setting in, a deep rooted feeling that he was drowning in the new responsibility of juggling his destiny with a child.

“I believe staying with your mother for a reasonable amount of your pregnancy would dispel any unwanted attention. If you ask the Prince for leave to visit your mother, surely he would not refuse.” Gaius said.

Merlin pulled out of the embrace to look at his mentor. “I can't leave him Gaius, I must look after him. And after what almost happened with Valiant? I couldn't live with myself knowing that I left and something had happened to Arthur, I just couldn't.” Merlin shook his head resolutely. “It's my duty. I have to stay.”

“How are you going to hide your condition? From my estimates you're approximately seven weeks along, and although you still have a few months before you start to quicken, you will have to conceal your condition.”

Merlin answered quickly, trying to convince himself more than Gaius that he could stay. “I'll wear larger tunics that hide my stomach, and when I can't hide anymore I'll glamour myself.”

Gaius raised an eyebrow. “You do know the risks you would be posing to yourself and to the child by staying in Camelot? If anyone found out,” Gaius trailed off.

Merlin knew what the risks were. He knew that everyday spent here was another day he was risking his life and the life of his child. But he'd been doing that ever since he came to Camelot, skirting the edges of danger, barely getting away unscathed. If he had done it before, he was sure he could do it again. “I have to do this Gaius. It's my only option.”

“And after the birth? What then? How are you going explain to the Prince the sudden appearance of a child?” Gaius questioned.

He was right. It would raise too many questions as to how and why Merlin was now mother to a newborn baby. He had to stay in Camelot, that was for sure, but what about the child? “What if I stay in Camelot until the birth? I'll travel to Ealdor and stay with my mother for a while afterwards, take care of the child and then return.” Merlin was piecing everything in his head, trying to make the details of the situations work together. “My mother can care for the child in my absence, and I'll visit as often as I can.”

Thinking of her brought up a swell of emotion in him. Oh gods, what would she say? She sent her son to Camelot thinking he would be safe, that he would finally find his place in the world, never guessing that he would return to her with nothing more than a round belly full of child.

Merlin suddenly felt so tired. He sighed. “I have to tell her. I have to tell my mother.”

“I'm sure she will understand. After all, she was in the same position as you with your father.”

Merlin knew scarce about the circumstances of his birth. Even less about his father. He knew he was bastard, that much was painfully obvious, but to think that his mother was in the same position he was in now? It was strangely comforting. He wanted to know more, wanted to know anything about his parents. “What happened between them?” He asked gently.

Gaius evaded the question. “I believe that is not my story to tell. Enough of this talk, you need to rest,” he ushered Merlin to his room before he could ask anymore questions. His face softened and he placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder, “Don't worry my boy, everything will work out, you'll see.”

Merlin knew that maybe that wasn't the whole truth, but he was willing to believe the lie for a little longer.

 

* * *

 

The next few weeks proved to be more of a challenge than Merlin had initially thought. Although he and Arthur had resolved to keep their relationship a secret, they had been overly affectionate with each other: light touches and lingering looks passed between them often, and when Merlin suddenly drew away from Arthur’s advancements, it did not go unnoticed. It was hard for Merlin to keep up the pretense of the smitten servant when all he could think of was the growing child in his belly. He was afraid that every time Arthur looked at him he would see through his lie, that every time he touched Merlin he would know what they had done. Of course that was ridiculous, there was no way Arthur could know, but he soon began to suspect something was wrong.

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted. He walked through his chambers quickly, looking through his dressers, throwing clothing around haphazardly, obviously in search of something. “Have you seen my belt?”

Merlin looked up from straightening the sheets on Arthur’s bed, “Have you checked your dresser?” He asked pointedly.

“Of course I’ve checked the dresser, _Mer_ lin.” He said, exasperated. “It’s not there,” he sait down on the bed with a huff, and gestured for Merlin to look for himself.

Merlin gave him a half-hearted glare for ruining his previous work before opening the dresser and pointedly pulling out the belt. He waved it in front of Arthur’s face. “You obviously didn't check well enough if I just found it.”

“It must’ve been under something.”

“Your nose,” Merlin said succinctly.

Arthur reached for the belt. “You just have this way of seeing things.”

“Yes two of them, they’re called eyes.”

“Very beautiful they are too,” Arthur spread the belt as if to put it on before swinging it over Merlin’s head and wrapping it around his waist so that it pulled Merlin flush against his chest.

“Don’t try and get out of this,” Merlin said.

“Get out of what?” Arthur feigned innocence.

“How hopeless you are,” Merlin ran his fingers through Arthur’s hair affectionately.

“I am, I’m hopelessly in love,” Arthur wrapped his arm around Merlin’s waist and pulled him into a kiss.

Merlin felt the kiss deepen as his hips were pulled closer to Arthur’s spread legs. Arthur’s hands roamed to Merlin’s backside, gently kneading, hinting at his intentions. Merlin began to panic, afraid of how far Arthur was going to take this, so he pulled back, breaking the kiss.

“Not now, Arthur, you have to prepare for the council meeting with your father.” Merlin tried to extricate himself from Arthur's grip.

Arthur studied his face for a moment, “What’s the matter? You’ve been avoiding my attentions lately,” Arthur ran his hand gently across Merlin’s hip, “Have I done something to displease you?”

Merlin looked away, avoiding eye contact. It was true he had not returned Arthur’s advances since he found out he was with child, mostly out of fear that Arthur would question the new softness that his stomach had taken on. He had done his best to please him, sucking and pulling him off whenever Arthur got particularly insatiable, and even on some occasions allowing him to press his fingers inside Merlin, but never like the first night they had been together. It was too risky.

Arthur tightened his grip around Merlin’s waist forcing him to face Arthur. He tilted Merlin’s head up with two fingers, looking directly into Merlin’s eyes. “What is it?”

Merlin tilted his head away again, “Arthur, please, not now.”

“Merlin, love, don’t shut me out. If something’s bothering you, you can tell me.” Arthur’s voice softened.

The truth was that Merlin had yet to perfect his glamour spell. He knew he didn’t have long to either, he was due to start showing soon and hiding it from Arthur would be almost impossible without magic.

“It’s my sickness again, I’ve been feeling a bit nauseous.” It wasn’t a complete lie, his morning sickness had yet to abate, but he knew that the excuse would buy him some more time.

Arthur didn't look particularly convinced, but he had no choice but to drop the matter as he had to be at the council chambers in a matter of minutes. He let go of Merlin’s waist a bit reluctantly and put on his belt. “Don’t think this is finished, we’ll talk later,” he pecked Merlin quickly on the lips. “I will be dining in my rooms tonight so I expect you’ll muster up enough competence to bring up dinner?” His lips quirked into a smile, lightening the mood. 

Merlin took the bait and smiled back. “Of course sire,” he bowed with only the slightest bit of sarcasm.

As soon as Arthur left the room Merlin blew out a breath. He’d have to master the glamour today as he was sure dinner tonight would lead to something more. He hated lying to Arthur, hated the fact that he felt like he was losing him before he ever really got to have him. But if things went well tonight, he could clear the suspicions from Arthur’s mind. It would make Merlin’s life much easier if Arthur wasn’t questioning Merlin’s strange demeanor, and Merlin couldn't help but long for his prince’s touch as well. He wanted to feel the love and ardor Arthur presented him with that first night again, he wanted to know that even in the midst of all the madness he had gone through this past week, Arthur still loved him. Knowing that he carried Arthur’s child made Merlin feel like he would always have a piece of Arthur with him, and sometimes that was the only thing that kept him going.

 

* * *

 

It had taken him hours, but Merlin finally mastered the glamour enough to be confident in its use for tonight. He was completing the finishing touches just as dusk fell over the castle, and had to rush to fetch the prince’s dinner before entering his chambers.

Merlin opened the door to Arthur’s rooms to find them thankfully empty. Truth be told, he did not want to see Arthur quite yet, a bit nervous about the whole endeavor. Merlin set the food on the table and went about tidying the room once more, needing something to occupy his thoughts.

As far as he could tell, the glamour was working. There was no sign of the growing life inside him: his stomach looked and felt as flat as it normally was. Regardless, Merlin took to absentmindedly rubbing his stomach, caressing its underside reverently, thinking about his child. Would it be a boy or a girl? Merlin hoped for a boy, hoped that the child would have Arthur’s likeness: his blond hair, his blue eyes. Would the child have magic? That was a question Merlin wasn’t quite ready for. He hoped the child would, he wanted it to know the joy of magic, the wonder and beauty it could bring to the world. But he logically knew all the trouble it would bring down on their heads. He remembered the stories his mother had told him of his childhood, the curtains that would catch fire, the furniture that would float of its own volition. It would be a challenge, raising a child with such powerful magic, only the gods knew how Merlin’s mother had managed such a feat.

Merlin sighed. This pregnancy was going to be quite strenuous, for mother and child. Merlin was going to have to pretend like nothing was wrong; he was going to have to keep up with all of his daily chores and duties as if he were in perfect health. Of course he would look the part because of the glamour, but he knew the terrible strain his body was going to be under. Carrying a child was hard on any mother, and it was only going to get harder for Merlin as the pregnancy progressed. He was already feeling fatigued often, taking breaks between chores and having trouble standing for long periods of time. What was Arthur going to say when he was no longer able to fetch and carry for him anymore? Merlin groaned in frustration. It seemed like nothing was going in his favor.

He moved about the room, lost in his ponderings before he heard the latch of the door being opened.

Arthur entered his chambers and slid off his jerkin before smelling the air. “Smells good. What’s for dinner?” He said as he ensconced in his chair.  

Merlin moved to serve Arthur “Some of the leftover meat from yesterday’s hunt; you and Leon brought back enough of that boar to feed the castle for a week.”

“Are you surprised? I’m a natural hunter,” Arthur preened.

Merlin made a face. “You're also a natural arse.”

Arthur feigned mock hurt. “Is that any way to speak to your prince, Merlin?”

“Of course not my lord, wouldn't want to damage that ego of yours,” he quipped.

Arthur snatched Merlin’s wrist from where he placed Arthur’s meal in front of him and brought the pulse to his lips. “Keep it up and it’ll be the stocks for you,” He said without any real heat.

Merlin looked deep into his eyes, challenging him. “You’d like that wouldn’t you? Seeing my legs spread and my arse up,” Arthur sucked in a breath. “I know you want me, Arthur, I can feel it.” He palmed his cock.

“This is a welcome change from this morning,” Arthur smiled. “I can tell you’re feeling better.”

Merlin brought Arthur’s hand to the swell of his arse, “Much.” He swung his legs over Arthur’s thighs and straddled him in the chair.

Merlin knew he was doing a good job. He could no longer see the suspicion in Arthur’s eyes from this morning. He felt a bit guilty, using sex like this to distract Arthur, but he knew that it was necessary. And besides, it wasn’t as if he wasn’t hungry for Arthur’s touch as well; it was a mutual distraction for both parties.

Merlin grabbed some of the meat from the table and fed it to Arthur before chasing it with his mouth. Arthur leaned into the kiss, pulling Merlin closer. Merlin pulled away and reached for the goblet behind him before tilting it to Arthur’s lips. He swallowed greedily and Merlin watched him with an intense gaze.

The meal continued like this, Merlin salaciously feeding Arthur and accompanying each bite with a kiss or a wiggle of his hips. By the time the food from the plate was finished, both were anxious to be in each other’s company.

Merlin could feel Arthur’s erection through his trousers, and pressed his arse down hard to give some relief. Arthur groaned and threw his head back, pulling Merlin down against him. Merlin mouthed at his neck, licking and biting any skin he could find.

Arthur abruptly pushed Merlin back and hooked his arms underneath the backs of his thighs, “Enough of this teasing, you minx.” He hoisted Merlin up and urged him to wrap his legs around his waist so he could carry him to the bed properly.

Merlin giggled. “Minx? As I seem to recall, it was you who was teasing this morning. In fact—”

Arthur threw him on the bed before Merlin could finish and he yelped in surprise.

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong Merlin. It’s not considered teasing if I fully intended on ravishing you.” He gave Merlin a filthy look before ridding himself of his shirt and breeches and climbing on the bed. “Just as I do now.” He yanked Merlin’s shirt over his head before quickly divesting him of the rest of his clothing.  

Arthur gently kissed and sucked up Merlin’s leg, relishing the whines Merlin was releasing. When he reached his inner thighs, Arthur sucked a dark bruise onto the skin, a mark of ownership.

Arthur’s breath was hot against Merlin, “Want to taste you,” he said. He lifted Merlin’s hips and placed an open mouthed kiss to his hole, making Merlin shudder.

“A-Arthur,” he whimpered.

Arthur pressed the flat of his tongue against Merlin before moving it in circular motions and pressing it inside his lover.

It had been so long since they had done this; Merlin had forgotten how _good_ it could feel.

Arthur continued his ministrations until Merlin was a writhing mess beneath him. Satisfied at his work, he moved up Merlin’s body and captured his mouth in a searing kiss.

“Want to fuck you,” he breathed between kisses.

“Yes,” Merlin moaned back.

Arthur placed Merlin's calf on his shoulder and lined up his cock. He pushed in slowly, wary of the resistance of his lover’s body, but it soon gave way.

Merlin was lost. Completely lost. Arthur’s mouth, his hands, they bombarded his senses, leaving him hot and desperate for his prince’s touch. Once he felt Arthur press into him, he wrapped both legs around his waist, pushing him forward with the heels of his feet.

Arthur responded with an experimental thrust before setting a punishing pace. Soon, both men's chests were heaving with exertion at their spirited love making.

Merlin could feel Arthur tiring and slid his leg off of his shoulder before spreading his legs wide, giving Arthur more access to him and grabbing his face with both hands, smashing their lips together. Arthur stopped his thrusting to deepen the kiss, and Merlin took advantage. He flipped their weight so he was above Arthur, straddling his groin.

Arthur raised an eyebrow, shocked at Merlin’s boldness. Merlin responded with a roll of his hips, taking immense satisfaction that Arthur was now at his mercy. He raised himself off Arthur’s cock before quickly slamming back down, creating deep waves of pleasure that rocked through his core. Merlin continued, matching Arthur’s previous pace, his thighs burning and sweat dripping down his neck. Below him, Arthur was looking at him through hooded eyes, his hands snaking their way up to Merlin’s hips to help guide him.

Merlin, overcome with passion, tangled his hands in his hair and threw his head back.

“You look so beautiful, riding my cock,” Arthur panted.

Merlin looked down to where they were joined; he could see Arthur’s stomach glisten with sweat as his turgid cock slid in and out of his hole. Distantly, Merlin though that the glamour was holding up well, his magic had not betrayed him.

Arthur began matching Merlin’s thrusts with his own, pushing himself up as Merlin brought his hips down.

Merlin felt the the pleasure mounting in his abdomen and began throwing himself down harder, aching for release.

Finally, Merlin tensed above Arthur and clenched his eyes shut as his orgasm wracked through his body. He panted heavily and placed his hands on Arthur’s chest to steady himself from the ringing in his ears.

Arthur, still chasing his own release, flipped them once more and began thrusting wildly into Merlin’s pliant body before he spilled his seed. Merlin vaguely registered the warmth flooding between his legs as Arthur collapsed on top of him in a sweaty heap.

“Not too bad for an arse?” Arthur said.

Merlin snuggled against Arthur's chest and exhaled slowly. “Not too bad,” he smiled contentedly.

“I’m glad to hear I could please.”

Arthur reached across the bed to blow out the candle before laying down beside Merlin and pulling him to his chest. Delightfully calm, Merlin threw his leg over Arthur’s thighs and nestled into him. They listened to the sound of each other’s breathing before falling into a peaceful sleep.

 

* * *

 

The next morning was blissfully uneventful as Merlin ushered Arthur out to train with the knights. Once he was gone Merlin hurried down to Gaius’ chambers to help with his morning duties as well as gather his thoughts.

Last night seemed to be a success: the glamour had held and Arthur seemed placated with Merlin’s acceptance of his advances. But for some reason Merlin couldn’t shake pang of guilt he felt in his chest from lying to Arthur. It was wrong not to tell him about his child but at the same time it was better that he didn’t know. Telling him about the pregnancy meant telling him about his magic as well, and that was terrifying. What would Arthur do? He had already shown how dangerous his ire could be, that much was indisputable from the way he reacted after their first night together. Would he do that again? Was there a chance that he would go as far to harm Merlin? Or the baby? Merlin shook his head. Arthur was noble, honourable, a good man, there was no way he would ever do anything to harm him. Still, Merlin didn't want to put that choice in front of him.

He knew that one day he would tell Arthur. He didn’t know when, or how, but it would happen. The consequences would be massive, but if it meant that they would have this time together and that they would achieve their destiny, then maybe it would be worth it.

The weight of Merlin’s secret was becoming too much; he knew that it was time to tell his mother. She wouldn’t judge him, she would comfort him, help him through the pain, ease his worries. Just thinking about her soothed his mind. Resolving to tell her the truth, Merlin grabbed some parchment from Gaius’ desk and returned to his room to begin writing his letter. 

_Mother,_

_I wish I could say that I am writing under better circumstances than the ones that are at hand. My journey to Camelot has already taught me so much and I am happy to tell you that sending me here was one of the best decisions you could have made as a mother. I hope that one day my child will look upon me with the same love and adoration as I look upon you with. However, I fear that this day may come sooner than expected and under vastly different circumstances. The purpose of this letter is to tell you that you are soon going to be a grandmother. I know this will come as a shock to you, and surely with some grief as to how your son got himself into such a condition. I do not think it would surprise you to know that my unique_ abilities _have proven to be the source of this situation. I know now the responsibility of having to bring a child into this world and be its mother in the most literal sense of the word. The child’s father does not know of my quickening and I would like to keep it that way for his sake and for mine. I am sorry to disappoint you, and hope that even in this bleak time I may bring some light into the world in the form of your grandchild. I hope to see you soon._

 _Your son, Merlin._  

Merlin stared at the parchment, a sudden feeling of homesickness welling inside him. He felt tears coming to his eyes but quickly wiped them away as to not smear the ink on the page.

  
He sighed. All he could do now was wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stole some dialogue from 5x08; I just loved the banter and dynamic it added to the Merlin/Arthur relationship.

**Author's Note:**

> I made some changes earlier so there's only one chapter instead of the three previous ones; I combined them in an effort to make the first chapter more complete and just because their lengths were bugging me. I did this in the hopes that the next updates will be longer as well. I'm pretty new to ao3 so I'm getting used to this format and semantics really are a bitch. Sorry for the confusion.
> 
> Also, all the comments on the other chapters have been deleted :( I just wanted to thank everyone for their support, it is much appreciated.


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